Leave it to me to make my last chemo an exciting race to see if it would even happen! On Thursday after work, the left side of my heart felt very heavy and uncomfortable. I kept telling myself I was just under a lot of stress. Keith took me to Fred's Barbecue for dinner, and my left arm began to feel heavy and mildly painful. I argued with myself for a few minutes, trying to convince myself that I was fine. I finally told Keith what was going on, and he said those words I really didn't want to hear: "Let's go to the hospital now."
So off we went. I must say, when you walk into the ER and say the words "chest pain," you get very preferential treatment! (Let me insert a side note that I love Baylor-Irving hospital. I have met the most wonderful, caring staff members there.) They ended up drawing blood, doing an x-ray, an EKG and a CT scan to ensure I was not having a heart attack and that I didn't have a blood clot in my chest - apparently something that can happen when you have cancer. All the tests were clear - I was fine. But the doctor came in and said he was admitting me for the night to watch my blood enzyme levels and for general observation. NOT what I wanted to hear; I wanted to go home.
Instead, Keith and I got to my room around 1:00 am and Keith slept in the chair/bed beside me. We got to sleep around 2:00; they woke us up at 4:00 to do all my vital signs. They were back in the room at 7:00 am. Fun stuff. That morning the doctor said I could be released if I passed a stress test. So I took my first stress test and thankfully passed it with flying colors. The doctor was looking at my heart on the sonogram machine saying, "Beautiful pictures!" (He was originally from Columbia and had a great accent!) No blockage, no problems, my heart is in good shape.
We were all looking at the pictures of my heart when Keith then told the doctor and technician, "She gave that to me 30 years ago." What a precious guy. He melted my heart. Then, it was back to my room to wait to be discharged. It was around 11:00 am and I was scheduled for my last chemo treatment at 12:30. I was DETERMINED to make that treatment happen, even though the doctor had told me earlier that morning that we might have to put it off until next week. I ended up getting discharged at 12:40 and we walked next door to the medical building and started my last chemo. We made it!
Let me back up a moment and explain that it was pretty much decided that my "episode" was caused by stress. Imagine that. I have a very stressful job, (well, really, who doesn't?) and I have continued working a normal schedule with the exception of Friday afternoon chemo treatments. I work for a hedge fund, and the financial crisis has certainly made the stress at work increase. Even though my side effects have been pretty mild during the second half of chemo, I still deal daily with fatigue and other minor ailments. As I have approached the exciting end of chemo, I've been thinking a lot about surgery and all of the current unknowns that go along with that. So, I think I was a lot more stressed than I realized.
Now, back to my last chemo treatment. It didn't exactly go as I had envisioned it. I hadn't had a shower, no makeup, wearing old jeans and a fleece jacket from the night before. But it was wonderful. My mom brought sandwiches for us and the staff, and Paige and Chance arrived about halfway through the treatment. They brought me a darling Cookie Bouquet - the cookies had pink ribbon breast cancer awareness symbols on the front. Then my mom brought out a huge German chocolate cake to add to the celebration. After cake, my mom and dad gave me a huge box from my favorite store - Ann Taylor - and it contained a complete new outfit. Now THAT'S a party!
We watched the last drops of Taxol drip out of the IV, and cheered! My two wonderful nurses, Belinda and Janelle, posed for a picture with me and gave me a certificate called the "Purple Heart" for completing my treatment. It was such an amazing feeling to know I had made it through 4 1/2 months of this thing that I had dreaded - and even more amazing to realize that it WORKED so well for me.
I had my sonogram and MRI last week and learned that the tumor has shrunk from 3.5 centimeters to 5 millimeters. The doctor said the tumor is now so small he wouldn't have known it was there if he didn't know where to look. I am so thankful that I have experienced such great results from my treatment.
This coming Thursday I meet with the surgeon, and begin learning all about surgery and the options. I still have some decisions to make. Please rejoice with me and my family for the succssful conclusion of chemotherapy. I am proud to say I am a survivor but I can't make that statement without giving God all the credit and glory for carrying me through. Now, please continue to keep me in your prayers during these next few weeks as my body regains strength and we make plans for surgery. God is good, all the time!
Nov 15, 2008
Nov 7, 2008
The End of Chemo Is In Sight!
I only have one chemo treatment left. This is so amazing to me! I have been in treatment since July 11 and, at that time, mid-November seemed so very far away. But I've made it through! I met with my oncologist today and we are now at the point where she is scheduling my end-of-treatment MRI and my consultation with my surgeon for a couple of weeks from now. So, one phase is ending and another is beginning.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
Oct 12, 2008
Week Three
Friday was my third Taxol chemo treatment (only five more to go!) and I am settling into my routine of weekly treatments. I was more tired than usual over the weekend, and I am sure that I am beginning to feel the cumulative effects of the chemo. I ran a few errands on Saturday but Keith and I stayed home all day Sunday - I just felt drained and tired. I am still able to work full-time, but Mondays are my hardest day of the week. By Monday, all of the steroids they give me on Friday during chemo wear off, and I seem to hit bottom. Then Tuesday through Thursday I am tired but able to make it through each day at work - and I spend the evenings in my recliner resting up. Friday we start the routine all over again.
On Monday, I went to the doctor for bloodwork at the end of the day, and discovered my white cell count and red cell count were both too low. When my red count is low, I feel so very tired and sick- like I have the flu - and I was feeling like this by Monday afternoon. The nurse gave me two shots to build up my counts, but it takes the shots a day or two to do their work, so Tuesday I was really feeling bad. I only worked that morning, then came home and napped on the couch for the afternoon. I perked up some that evening, however, as the shots began to take effect.
Today I am much better - other than mild fatigue, I am feeling pretty normal. So I have to say that this new treatment schedule is working for me - as long as I can keep my blood counts up!
Last weekend was a special treat because Keith and I took a road trip to Waco to spend Saturday and Sunday with Paige and Chance. We went out to dinner on Saturday night and attended church together on Sunday. I loved visiting Paige and Chance's Young Marrieds Sunday School class, and it was so sweet to be there to see Paige and Chance officially join Columbus Avenue Baptist Church. I am so proud of them and thrilled to know they have found a church home where they can be involved.
So I am living through chemo treatments while maintaining a fairly normal lifestyle. Who knew? I am so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel - only five more treatments and I am DONE with this chemo stuff. Then, a break of three weeks or so, then surgery.
My biggest struggle right now is with my blood counts, so please pray for me these next few weeks - that my counts will stay high and I will continue to feel strong and maintain a normal routine. Thank you for your prayers and support!
On Monday, I went to the doctor for bloodwork at the end of the day, and discovered my white cell count and red cell count were both too low. When my red count is low, I feel so very tired and sick- like I have the flu - and I was feeling like this by Monday afternoon. The nurse gave me two shots to build up my counts, but it takes the shots a day or two to do their work, so Tuesday I was really feeling bad. I only worked that morning, then came home and napped on the couch for the afternoon. I perked up some that evening, however, as the shots began to take effect.
Today I am much better - other than mild fatigue, I am feeling pretty normal. So I have to say that this new treatment schedule is working for me - as long as I can keep my blood counts up!
Last weekend was a special treat because Keith and I took a road trip to Waco to spend Saturday and Sunday with Paige and Chance. We went out to dinner on Saturday night and attended church together on Sunday. I loved visiting Paige and Chance's Young Marrieds Sunday School class, and it was so sweet to be there to see Paige and Chance officially join Columbus Avenue Baptist Church. I am so proud of them and thrilled to know they have found a church home where they can be involved.
So I am living through chemo treatments while maintaining a fairly normal lifestyle. Who knew? I am so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel - only five more treatments and I am DONE with this chemo stuff. Then, a break of three weeks or so, then surgery.
My biggest struggle right now is with my blood counts, so please pray for me these next few weeks - that my counts will stay high and I will continue to feel strong and maintain a normal routine. Thank you for your prayers and support!
Sep 27, 2008
One Down...
Well, my hands and feet are almost healed from the allergic reaction I had to my previous chemo treatment on Sept. 5. All the skin has peeled off the palms of my hands and my toes and heels. I am happy to report that the plagues of Job appear to have left the Patton household. Believe me, it was a tough couple of weeks but I am so much better.
Yesterday I had my first chemo treatment with the new drug called Taxol. It is an eight-week program, and I take this treatment every Friday afternoon for seven more weeks now. Since I take it weekly, the drug is obviously milder, and I have already discovered that the side effects are so much milder than what I have experienced with past drugs! They gave me Benadryl during my treatment, to prevent an allergic reaction to the drug, so I actually napped through the last half of my treatment. But I was fine by the time I got home and just spent a relaxing evening in my recliner.
I have to take steroids with this drug, so the worst was last night - I wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:00 am. But I slept in this morning and had a great day. I actually ran errands and did some chores and had one of the most normal Saturdays I've had in a couple of months. It was lovely.
So I have a good feeling about this new treatment plan, despite the fact that I have to go every week. The main concern is that my red and white blood cell counts remain within range so that I can take my treatments on schedule, so please pray specifically for this for me. I want to be FINISHED with chemo on November14 if at all possible, so we will pray toward this goal.
I want to thank so many of you, my sweet friends, who are serving the Lord by sharing His love with me. Your weekly cards with notes of concern and love, gifts, food, prayers, and many other kind acts humble me, and I pray that you, the giver, will also be blessed for your obedience to serving God by serving others.
It's funny...I fought so hard to avoid taking this weekly chemo drug because I just didn't think it would work well for my schedule, etc. But God's plan is so perfect and I am amazed at how good I feel - at least so far - and I am reminded, once again, to allow Him to be in control. He is good...all the time.
Yesterday I had my first chemo treatment with the new drug called Taxol. It is an eight-week program, and I take this treatment every Friday afternoon for seven more weeks now. Since I take it weekly, the drug is obviously milder, and I have already discovered that the side effects are so much milder than what I have experienced with past drugs! They gave me Benadryl during my treatment, to prevent an allergic reaction to the drug, so I actually napped through the last half of my treatment. But I was fine by the time I got home and just spent a relaxing evening in my recliner.
I have to take steroids with this drug, so the worst was last night - I wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:00 am. But I slept in this morning and had a great day. I actually ran errands and did some chores and had one of the most normal Saturdays I've had in a couple of months. It was lovely.
So I have a good feeling about this new treatment plan, despite the fact that I have to go every week. The main concern is that my red and white blood cell counts remain within range so that I can take my treatments on schedule, so please pray specifically for this for me. I want to be FINISHED with chemo on November14 if at all possible, so we will pray toward this goal.
I want to thank so many of you, my sweet friends, who are serving the Lord by sharing His love with me. Your weekly cards with notes of concern and love, gifts, food, prayers, and many other kind acts humble me, and I pray that you, the giver, will also be blessed for your obedience to serving God by serving others.
It's funny...I fought so hard to avoid taking this weekly chemo drug because I just didn't think it would work well for my schedule, etc. But God's plan is so perfect and I am amazed at how good I feel - at least so far - and I am reminded, once again, to allow Him to be in control. He is good...all the time.
Sep 10, 2008
God's Timing
A lot has happened since my post over the weekend, so let me just fill you in. I had an allergic reaction to the new chemo drug I received this past Friday and the past few days have really been pretty unpleasant. The palms of my hands turned bright red as if burned and felt that way too. My feet, mostly along the sides of my heels, also appeared red and burned and slightly blistered. I also developed a rash on the tops of my hands and under my arms. Oh, yes, the plagues of Job are alive and well and living at the Patton home! Keith took me to see my oncologist on Tuesday and she confirmed this was one of the worst allergic reactions she has seen to this chemo drug, so needless to say I won't be taking it anymore. They treated me with steroids via an IV on Tuesday and again today, and fortunately that is beginning to work and I am slowly seeing some relief today.
So...all my excitement about "only 3 more treatments" has gone by the wayside. I have two more weeks off to recover from this reaction, but will resume chemo treatments with yet a new drug on Sept. 26 - and this is the one that I must take every week for 12 weeks. I had so hoped to avoid this, because EVERY WEEK seems so daunting. But as Keith reminded me while we were spending Tuesday afternoon in the doctor's office, this IS a part of God's plan, and we will trust His perfect timing because it is perfect and not daunting.
I've had a couple of really tough days this week - it's not fun when you can barely walk or hold a fork in your hand. But Keith takes such sweet care of me and I have a great doctor who is guiding us through this. And my coworkers have been so wonderful to help me in so many ways. Fortunately I can work from home on my laptop and I have been able to keep from falling too far behind.
Paige is coming home Friday night to spend the night and some quality time. She started a new job this week with Curves and I'm so proud of her for her new opportunity. She is so precious to bring me little presents when she comes home to see me, just to lift my spirits. Last time she brought me a beautiful designer lip gloss from Nordstrom, and I got all teary-eyed, because she is so good to me. I told her I didn't know anyone but me who cried over lip gloss! Check me out next time you see me; I have the shiniest bronze lips around!
I mentioned the plagues of Job earlier, so went to that book and found my favorite verse there: "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) God is good all the time, even when I'm having a tough day here. Enough said.
So...all my excitement about "only 3 more treatments" has gone by the wayside. I have two more weeks off to recover from this reaction, but will resume chemo treatments with yet a new drug on Sept. 26 - and this is the one that I must take every week for 12 weeks. I had so hoped to avoid this, because EVERY WEEK seems so daunting. But as Keith reminded me while we were spending Tuesday afternoon in the doctor's office, this IS a part of God's plan, and we will trust His perfect timing because it is perfect and not daunting.
I've had a couple of really tough days this week - it's not fun when you can barely walk or hold a fork in your hand. But Keith takes such sweet care of me and I have a great doctor who is guiding us through this. And my coworkers have been so wonderful to help me in so many ways. Fortunately I can work from home on my laptop and I have been able to keep from falling too far behind.
Paige is coming home Friday night to spend the night and some quality time. She started a new job this week with Curves and I'm so proud of her for her new opportunity. She is so precious to bring me little presents when she comes home to see me, just to lift my spirits. Last time she brought me a beautiful designer lip gloss from Nordstrom, and I got all teary-eyed, because she is so good to me. I told her I didn't know anyone but me who cried over lip gloss! Check me out next time you see me; I have the shiniest bronze lips around!
I mentioned the plagues of Job earlier, so went to that book and found my favorite verse there: "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) God is good all the time, even when I'm having a tough day here. Enough said.
Sep 6, 2008
"Come and Listen"
"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me." Psalm 66:16
The past week has been a memorable one and I have much good news to share. First, I spoke with my lead doctor/surgeon, Dr. Clifford, on Tuesday and learned the results of my genetic testing - the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. NEGATIVE! I must tell you that even the doctor was surprised by this result; we were all assuming I would be positive due to my strong family history (all 3 of my mom's sisters have had breast cancer). This fabulous news means that I am not carrying a gene that makes me highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, as well as several other cancers. It also means that my sweet daughter is not a potential carrier of this hereditary gene, making her a much higher risk for cancer in her lifetime. So we celebrate this unexpectedly joyous news and praise God for the blessing.
Now that I am halfway through my chemo treatments - YES, it's true! - I had a sonogram on Wednesday to determine how much my tumor has decreased in size. It was apparent to my oncologist that it was shrinking simply by physical examination, but we wanted a true report. Amazingly, my tumor has shrunk by 80%!!! It has gone from 4 centimeters to 1 centimeter in the 2 months of chemo treatments. Obviously the chemo is working and we are all so thrilled with this wonderful news.
Now that I have shared all the great news, I have to admit that the past month - my last two chemo treatments - were pretty tough. After breezing through the first two treatments with minimal side effects, the bottom pretty much fell out. The nausea increased quite a bit so my eating decreased quite a bit. I've lost the weight I had been trying to lose pre-diagnosis - but I wouldn't recommend the chemo diet to anyone! But the worst side effect I encountered was the drop in my red and white blood cell count. This is something that simply happens as a result of chemo, and there are shots they give me to bring the blood counts back up. However, when those red cell counts drop, I feel like I have a roaring case of the flu - zero energy - taking a shower to get ready for work wears me out, etc. Since it takes a few days for the shots to kick in, I spent a couple of weeks feeling pretty miserable between the nausea and the weakness.
But -- I am now finished with the first round of medication that was causing all these nasty side effects and yesterday I began the second half of chemo treatment with a new drug that may be a bit milder on my system. I actually feel pretty darn good today, all things considered! Other than taking a little nap this afternoon, I've been up and about all day. The side effect of this drug that is miserable is that it affects the skin on my hands and feet. It causes sensitivity, peeling, and some tingling/burning feelings at times. So I am keeping Vitamin E oil slathered on my hands and feet. With chemo, there's always something...but I only have 3 MORE TO GO!
I will most likely finish chemo treatments on November 7 if all goes well. My surgeon wants to wait about three weeks before surgery, which takes me through Thanksgiving. Do you think we might have a lot to be thankful for this year!? Then in early December I will have surgery. I'm not too sure what that will entail yet because we won't meet with Dr. Clifford until chemo is complete, and there will be another MRI to give us good information about the current status of everything, but I know I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the right side. I don't have enough information yet to determine whether I will also have the left side removed too. This is such an important decision, but my doctor tells me now is not the time to worry about this, so I will commit it to prayer and know God will lead me to the right decision at the right time.
During the past few weeks, there is only one thing that kept me going: YOU. My family and sweet friends who have done so much to lift my spirits, encourage me, and most of all, continually lift me to the Father, from whom I receive my strength. I continue to receive your cards and emails of encouragement and love, our YAMs Sunday School class brings us meals, friends have delivered thoughtful gifts, my friends at work have brought food, sent me flowers, allowed me to slip out early on those days when I felt so bad, so many of you find me on Sundays to make sure I receive a hug and words of encouragement, and the list goes on.
My family is my greatest source of daily strength and encouragement. On August 23, Keith led me, Paige and Chance in an anointing service , and it was such a special time of worship for our family. He used James 5:13-16 and 2 Corinthians 12 as his text and we focused on verse 10: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." He anointed my forehead with oil in the sign of the cross. Then Keith, Paige and Chance each prayed over me. I can't find words to describe the peace and hope God gave me in those moments as my husband and sweet kids demonstrated their faith in God and in His healing power - and their incredible love for me. We made a memory that night and God is answering our prayer of faith and making me well (see James 5:15)!
Please keep me on your prayer list in the coming weeks as I don't know yet how this new chemo drug is going to affect me in the days to come. Please pray for my strength and healthy blood counts. Most of all, please pray that, even as the chemo temporarily weakens my body, I will be strong in my faith and hope and witness as the Father leads me to wholeness.
God is good...all the time!
The past week has been a memorable one and I have much good news to share. First, I spoke with my lead doctor/surgeon, Dr. Clifford, on Tuesday and learned the results of my genetic testing - the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. NEGATIVE! I must tell you that even the doctor was surprised by this result; we were all assuming I would be positive due to my strong family history (all 3 of my mom's sisters have had breast cancer). This fabulous news means that I am not carrying a gene that makes me highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, as well as several other cancers. It also means that my sweet daughter is not a potential carrier of this hereditary gene, making her a much higher risk for cancer in her lifetime. So we celebrate this unexpectedly joyous news and praise God for the blessing.
Now that I am halfway through my chemo treatments - YES, it's true! - I had a sonogram on Wednesday to determine how much my tumor has decreased in size. It was apparent to my oncologist that it was shrinking simply by physical examination, but we wanted a true report. Amazingly, my tumor has shrunk by 80%!!! It has gone from 4 centimeters to 1 centimeter in the 2 months of chemo treatments. Obviously the chemo is working and we are all so thrilled with this wonderful news.
Now that I have shared all the great news, I have to admit that the past month - my last two chemo treatments - were pretty tough. After breezing through the first two treatments with minimal side effects, the bottom pretty much fell out. The nausea increased quite a bit so my eating decreased quite a bit. I've lost the weight I had been trying to lose pre-diagnosis - but I wouldn't recommend the chemo diet to anyone! But the worst side effect I encountered was the drop in my red and white blood cell count. This is something that simply happens as a result of chemo, and there are shots they give me to bring the blood counts back up. However, when those red cell counts drop, I feel like I have a roaring case of the flu - zero energy - taking a shower to get ready for work wears me out, etc. Since it takes a few days for the shots to kick in, I spent a couple of weeks feeling pretty miserable between the nausea and the weakness.
But -- I am now finished with the first round of medication that was causing all these nasty side effects and yesterday I began the second half of chemo treatment with a new drug that may be a bit milder on my system. I actually feel pretty darn good today, all things considered! Other than taking a little nap this afternoon, I've been up and about all day. The side effect of this drug that is miserable is that it affects the skin on my hands and feet. It causes sensitivity, peeling, and some tingling/burning feelings at times. So I am keeping Vitamin E oil slathered on my hands and feet. With chemo, there's always something...but I only have 3 MORE TO GO!
I will most likely finish chemo treatments on November 7 if all goes well. My surgeon wants to wait about three weeks before surgery, which takes me through Thanksgiving. Do you think we might have a lot to be thankful for this year!? Then in early December I will have surgery. I'm not too sure what that will entail yet because we won't meet with Dr. Clifford until chemo is complete, and there will be another MRI to give us good information about the current status of everything, but I know I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the right side. I don't have enough information yet to determine whether I will also have the left side removed too. This is such an important decision, but my doctor tells me now is not the time to worry about this, so I will commit it to prayer and know God will lead me to the right decision at the right time.
During the past few weeks, there is only one thing that kept me going: YOU. My family and sweet friends who have done so much to lift my spirits, encourage me, and most of all, continually lift me to the Father, from whom I receive my strength. I continue to receive your cards and emails of encouragement and love, our YAMs Sunday School class brings us meals, friends have delivered thoughtful gifts, my friends at work have brought food, sent me flowers, allowed me to slip out early on those days when I felt so bad, so many of you find me on Sundays to make sure I receive a hug and words of encouragement, and the list goes on.
My family is my greatest source of daily strength and encouragement. On August 23, Keith led me, Paige and Chance in an anointing service , and it was such a special time of worship for our family. He used James 5:13-16 and 2 Corinthians 12 as his text and we focused on verse 10: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." He anointed my forehead with oil in the sign of the cross. Then Keith, Paige and Chance each prayed over me. I can't find words to describe the peace and hope God gave me in those moments as my husband and sweet kids demonstrated their faith in God and in His healing power - and their incredible love for me. We made a memory that night and God is answering our prayer of faith and making me well (see James 5:15)!
Please keep me on your prayer list in the coming weeks as I don't know yet how this new chemo drug is going to affect me in the days to come. Please pray for my strength and healthy blood counts. Most of all, please pray that, even as the chemo temporarily weakens my body, I will be strong in my faith and hope and witness as the Father leads me to wholeness.
God is good...all the time!
Aug 4, 2008
Be Still
This has been a week for catching up with long-lost friends and hearing from people from my past. They say good news travels fast, but I say bad news travels even faster. As the news of my breast cancer has spread through the grapevine, I have begun to receive messages of encouragement from so many wonderful friends, relatives, and even acquaintances with whom I had lost touch. I find it quite amazing that, in the family of God, you can go years without seeing a friend, and when you do meet up again, you are able to pick up right where you left off. Sharing a common faith and future binds us together forever.
This week I am feeling pretty good, although I continue to be so tired. By the time I get home from work and have dinner - I'm toast. I doze on and off until bedtime, then start the process over again the next day. I have one new side effect that I'm not too happy with -- mouth ulcers. I don't mean an irritating ulcer like you sometimes get, I mean one entire side of my mouth is covered and it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, whine, whine. You know, the chemo destroys the bad cells (yay!) but also some of the good, and that's where this mouth issue comes in. Apparently this is a common side effect. My doctor gave me a prescription for a liquid I can swish in my mouth to help with the pain, but it's seriously called "Gross Cocktail" -- if that gives you any idea how it tastes!
I am beginning to see that with each chemo treatment I am slowing down more and more. I have been going along, living my life as usual, living like I'm not sick. But I am, and I am understanding the importance of slowing down and letting my body rest. So here is my new verse for this week. I didn't search the concordance for it; it just came to me as I was sitting here contemplating my need for rest: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Wow. The Lord just told me that I need to be still, slow down - and let HIM be in control of my life. Of my cancer. Of my side effects. OF MY HEALING.
I'm pretty certain I am not the only one racing through life today, trying to do it all, pretending there's not really anything wrong, needing to just BE STILL and allow God to be Lord of my life. So join me this week and let's be still in God's presence. I look forward now to a peace-filled Friday at chemo, knowing I am going to be spiritually prepared. I'll let you know how it goes.
This week I am feeling pretty good, although I continue to be so tired. By the time I get home from work and have dinner - I'm toast. I doze on and off until bedtime, then start the process over again the next day. I have one new side effect that I'm not too happy with -- mouth ulcers. I don't mean an irritating ulcer like you sometimes get, I mean one entire side of my mouth is covered and it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, whine, whine. You know, the chemo destroys the bad cells (yay!) but also some of the good, and that's where this mouth issue comes in. Apparently this is a common side effect. My doctor gave me a prescription for a liquid I can swish in my mouth to help with the pain, but it's seriously called "Gross Cocktail" -- if that gives you any idea how it tastes!
I am beginning to see that with each chemo treatment I am slowing down more and more. I have been going along, living my life as usual, living like I'm not sick. But I am, and I am understanding the importance of slowing down and letting my body rest. So here is my new verse for this week. I didn't search the concordance for it; it just came to me as I was sitting here contemplating my need for rest: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Wow. The Lord just told me that I need to be still, slow down - and let HIM be in control of my life. Of my cancer. Of my side effects. OF MY HEALING.
I'm pretty certain I am not the only one racing through life today, trying to do it all, pretending there's not really anything wrong, needing to just BE STILL and allow God to be Lord of my life. So join me this week and let's be still in God's presence. I look forward now to a peace-filled Friday at chemo, knowing I am going to be spiritually prepared. I'll let you know how it goes.
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