Leave it to me to make my last chemo an exciting race to see if it would even happen! On Thursday after work, the left side of my heart felt very heavy and uncomfortable. I kept telling myself I was just under a lot of stress. Keith took me to Fred's Barbecue for dinner, and my left arm began to feel heavy and mildly painful. I argued with myself for a few minutes, trying to convince myself that I was fine. I finally told Keith what was going on, and he said those words I really didn't want to hear: "Let's go to the hospital now."
So off we went. I must say, when you walk into the ER and say the words "chest pain," you get very preferential treatment! (Let me insert a side note that I love Baylor-Irving hospital. I have met the most wonderful, caring staff members there.) They ended up drawing blood, doing an x-ray, an EKG and a CT scan to ensure I was not having a heart attack and that I didn't have a blood clot in my chest - apparently something that can happen when you have cancer. All the tests were clear - I was fine. But the doctor came in and said he was admitting me for the night to watch my blood enzyme levels and for general observation. NOT what I wanted to hear; I wanted to go home.
Instead, Keith and I got to my room around 1:00 am and Keith slept in the chair/bed beside me. We got to sleep around 2:00; they woke us up at 4:00 to do all my vital signs. They were back in the room at 7:00 am. Fun stuff. That morning the doctor said I could be released if I passed a stress test. So I took my first stress test and thankfully passed it with flying colors. The doctor was looking at my heart on the sonogram machine saying, "Beautiful pictures!" (He was originally from Columbia and had a great accent!) No blockage, no problems, my heart is in good shape.
We were all looking at the pictures of my heart when Keith then told the doctor and technician, "She gave that to me 30 years ago." What a precious guy. He melted my heart. Then, it was back to my room to wait to be discharged. It was around 11:00 am and I was scheduled for my last chemo treatment at 12:30. I was DETERMINED to make that treatment happen, even though the doctor had told me earlier that morning that we might have to put it off until next week. I ended up getting discharged at 12:40 and we walked next door to the medical building and started my last chemo. We made it!
Let me back up a moment and explain that it was pretty much decided that my "episode" was caused by stress. Imagine that. I have a very stressful job, (well, really, who doesn't?) and I have continued working a normal schedule with the exception of Friday afternoon chemo treatments. I work for a hedge fund, and the financial crisis has certainly made the stress at work increase. Even though my side effects have been pretty mild during the second half of chemo, I still deal daily with fatigue and other minor ailments. As I have approached the exciting end of chemo, I've been thinking a lot about surgery and all of the current unknowns that go along with that. So, I think I was a lot more stressed than I realized.
Now, back to my last chemo treatment. It didn't exactly go as I had envisioned it. I hadn't had a shower, no makeup, wearing old jeans and a fleece jacket from the night before. But it was wonderful. My mom brought sandwiches for us and the staff, and Paige and Chance arrived about halfway through the treatment. They brought me a darling Cookie Bouquet - the cookies had pink ribbon breast cancer awareness symbols on the front. Then my mom brought out a huge German chocolate cake to add to the celebration. After cake, my mom and dad gave me a huge box from my favorite store - Ann Taylor - and it contained a complete new outfit. Now THAT'S a party!
We watched the last drops of Taxol drip out of the IV, and cheered! My two wonderful nurses, Belinda and Janelle, posed for a picture with me and gave me a certificate called the "Purple Heart" for completing my treatment. It was such an amazing feeling to know I had made it through 4 1/2 months of this thing that I had dreaded - and even more amazing to realize that it WORKED so well for me.
I had my sonogram and MRI last week and learned that the tumor has shrunk from 3.5 centimeters to 5 millimeters. The doctor said the tumor is now so small he wouldn't have known it was there if he didn't know where to look. I am so thankful that I have experienced such great results from my treatment.
This coming Thursday I meet with the surgeon, and begin learning all about surgery and the options. I still have some decisions to make. Please rejoice with me and my family for the succssful conclusion of chemotherapy. I am proud to say I am a survivor but I can't make that statement without giving God all the credit and glory for carrying me through. Now, please continue to keep me in your prayers during these next few weeks as my body regains strength and we make plans for surgery. God is good, all the time!
Nov 15, 2008
Nov 7, 2008
The End of Chemo Is In Sight!
I only have one chemo treatment left. This is so amazing to me! I have been in treatment since July 11 and, at that time, mid-November seemed so very far away. But I've made it through! I met with my oncologist today and we are now at the point where she is scheduling my end-of-treatment MRI and my consultation with my surgeon for a couple of weeks from now. So, one phase is ending and another is beginning.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
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