Merry Christmas! I hope you had a wonderful day filled with special time spent with those you love best. I certainly did! We started celebrating on Christmas Eve with the annual Patton family gourmet Christmas Eve dinner prepared by none other than Chef Keith. This year his menu included prime rib, twice baked potatoes. steamed asparagus with lemon butter sauce, holiday ambrosia, and Pears Noel - a fabulous new addition to the menu that will definitely become an annual tradition. Paige and I took turns helping out in the kitchen, and we had such fun. It was quite the feast. Keith's mom joined me, Keith, Chance and Paige for the evening, and it was such a sweet time of celebration with my family.
On Christmas morning we went to my Mom and Dad's house for Christmas brunch. Again, it was another sweet time with family and lots of great food. We especially enjoyed having two new boys in our family this year! Paige's husband, Chance, and my ten-month-old nephew, Gabe!
We had decided that we would have a small Christmas this year and keep the Christmas gifts at a minimum. Everyone received something they wanted, but the gifts were not the focus this year. For one thing, I had surgery the week before Christmas, so we really have been focused on getting me through that. After we opened our gifts on Christmas Eve, we talked about how our attitude toward presents had changed this year. I think this was was our best Christmas ever, but the reason it was so wonderful was because we spent time together, enjoying one another, and we had family time sharing about all the things we have to be thankful for this year.
My favorite Christmas present was a handmade gift that Paige created at a little pottery store in Waco. She decorated a ceramic tile that sets in an easel. On the tile, she wrote out Psalm 66:16, the Scripture verse that I claimed back in my Sept. 6 blog: "Come and listen, all of you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me." The tile is now on my mantel as a continual reminder of the amazing story God has given me to share. Despite living with cancer these past six months, He has been more than enough to meet every need and to reveal Himself to me and teach me how to depend on Him for absolutely everything.
As you know, I learned last week that I will have to undergo six weeks of radiation therapy, despite all our hopes that I wouldn't need this treatment. I met with my radiation oncologist on Wednesday, and I like him so much. I set an appointment for January 15 to have all my markings (these are made with indelible ink) made on my chest to prepare me for the beginning of treatment. I also received the most encouraging news. Since I have to go in for treatment every day (Mon-Fri) for all six weeks, I was so concerned about how to make that work with my work schedule. The doctor explained that their office opens at 8am, so I can simply go by the hospital first thing every morning, get my five minute zap of treatment, and then head on to work. That means this should cause very little inconvenience with my normal work schedule. And the only side effect is a little fatigue - less than what goes along with chemo - so I know I can handle that.
As I was dealing with my new reality of positive lymph nodes, more treatment, etc. this week, I found such an encouragement in 2 Chronicles 20:12. It says, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You." That's where I find myself now. I have no control over the cancer, over the results of the pathology, so I can only trust God and His plan. A few verses later, in 2 Chronicles 20:17, God told the Israelites: "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." A few verses later, BEFORE they had been delivered, the people began to worship the Lord "for the splendor of his holiness."
So there you have it. I will face tomorrow, and God will be with me. I will worship Him NOW for what we know He will do for me, for the wonderful things we know He has planned for me. When I reach the end of cancer treatment (whenever that may be!!) I will have such an incredible story to tell..."let me tell you what He has done for me!" (Psalm 66:16)
Have a blessed 2009!
Dec 26, 2008
Dec 20, 2008
I had surgery on Wednesday, and I am happy to report that it was very successful, according to both my surgeon and my plastic surgeon. The surgery took about 5.5 hours, and after leaving the recovery room I was taken to a private room, where I spent Wednesday and Thursday nights. I had a little trouble on Wednesday night with nausea, probably from all the pain medication. But what a wonderful surprise when Paige walked into my room around 9:30 pm! I wasn't expecting her until the following evening, and I was thrilled to see her. Keith slept in the room with me that first night, and we experienced that fun hospital routine of being awakened every two hours by the nurses to take my vital signs, etc.
Thursday seemed to fly by for me although not much happened. I napped on and off. When I woke up Friday morning, I was ready to go home! I had a rougher day Friday - the pain was worse, and I just wanted to be at home in my recliner in my familiar surroundings. Dr. White came by around 11am, and agreed to let me go home, so we packed up and I was home a little after noon. Keith and Paige did laundry, cooked, and took such good care of me. My mom had made us homemade potato soup and cherry pie, so we were set. I will be home for the next few weeks in recovery mode.
Friday afternoon, Keith and Paige ran an errand, and when they came back, they started acting very suspicious! (Let me back up - Keith and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary on Monday, 12/22.) Suddenly Paige had the stereo turned on, playing "our song" - the song that was playing when Keith first kissed me over 30 years ago. Then Keith knelt beside my chair, said some beautiful things to me, and then pulled out a little box - you know, the kind of little box that girls get very excited about! He and Paige had been conspiring for months, and while I left my wedding ring at home during my hospital stay, he had the diamond from my wedding ring re-set into a brand new setting!! Can you say bling?! Can you say beautiful? It is the most fabulous ring and I can't stop looking at it on my finger! Keith completely surprised me.
Unfortunately, Friday afternoon also brought some news from the doctor that we were hoping not to hear. Dr. Clifford called with the pathology results from surgery, and while we knew the chemo did a great job shrinking the tumor, apparently it did not do such a great job on the lymph nodes, because I have five lymph nodes that came back showing active cancer cells. So, radiation is no longer an option, but a requirement. I don't have any more details at the moment; I have an appointment with Dr. Clifford on Tuesday morning and will get more information when we see him.
I was so determined - and optimistic - that surgery would be the end of my treatment. I just didn't think I would have to go down the radiation path. But as I have said all along, God is in control, and I am in His hand, and there is no better place to be. So we will continue with whatever treatment plan is necessary and best to bring us to a positive conclusion to my treatment.
Today I read this passage in Ephesians that encouraged me:
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ , the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:17-19
I can testify that experiencing cancer these past six months has certainly allowed me and my family to know Him more as we have trusted Him and placed our hope in Him regarding my health. Through his Spirit, those of us who believe have access to his incomparably great power - and his power is perfect, able to heal our diseases. Would you please join me and my family in praying for my complete healing as I recover from surgery and make plans for radiation treatment? My hope is that my life will be an testimony of God's healing power.
I'll give you an update next week after I see the doctor. God is good...ALL the time.
Thursday seemed to fly by for me although not much happened. I napped on and off. When I woke up Friday morning, I was ready to go home! I had a rougher day Friday - the pain was worse, and I just wanted to be at home in my recliner in my familiar surroundings. Dr. White came by around 11am, and agreed to let me go home, so we packed up and I was home a little after noon. Keith and Paige did laundry, cooked, and took such good care of me. My mom had made us homemade potato soup and cherry pie, so we were set. I will be home for the next few weeks in recovery mode.
Friday afternoon, Keith and Paige ran an errand, and when they came back, they started acting very suspicious! (Let me back up - Keith and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary on Monday, 12/22.) Suddenly Paige had the stereo turned on, playing "our song" - the song that was playing when Keith first kissed me over 30 years ago. Then Keith knelt beside my chair, said some beautiful things to me, and then pulled out a little box - you know, the kind of little box that girls get very excited about! He and Paige had been conspiring for months, and while I left my wedding ring at home during my hospital stay, he had the diamond from my wedding ring re-set into a brand new setting!! Can you say bling?! Can you say beautiful? It is the most fabulous ring and I can't stop looking at it on my finger! Keith completely surprised me.
Unfortunately, Friday afternoon also brought some news from the doctor that we were hoping not to hear. Dr. Clifford called with the pathology results from surgery, and while we knew the chemo did a great job shrinking the tumor, apparently it did not do such a great job on the lymph nodes, because I have five lymph nodes that came back showing active cancer cells. So, radiation is no longer an option, but a requirement. I don't have any more details at the moment; I have an appointment with Dr. Clifford on Tuesday morning and will get more information when we see him.
I was so determined - and optimistic - that surgery would be the end of my treatment. I just didn't think I would have to go down the radiation path. But as I have said all along, God is in control, and I am in His hand, and there is no better place to be. So we will continue with whatever treatment plan is necessary and best to bring us to a positive conclusion to my treatment.
Today I read this passage in Ephesians that encouraged me:
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ , the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:17-19
I can testify that experiencing cancer these past six months has certainly allowed me and my family to know Him more as we have trusted Him and placed our hope in Him regarding my health. Through his Spirit, those of us who believe have access to his incomparably great power - and his power is perfect, able to heal our diseases. Would you please join me and my family in praying for my complete healing as I recover from surgery and make plans for radiation treatment? My hope is that my life will be an testimony of God's healing power.
I'll give you an update next week after I see the doctor. God is good...ALL the time.
Dec 4, 2008
Phase Two
Well, I've had a few weeks since I finished chemo and I must say I haven't missed it! I am slowly regaining my strength - and my hair!! (yes, it has started to grow back - so exciting) just in time to start all over again with phase two - surgery. I am scheduled for surgery on Wed., December 17 at 7:30 am at Baylor Irving. I'll be off work for the remainder of December and possibly the first week or so of January. So right now I am feverishly busy at work, trying to get everything organized and wrapped up. I will be able to do some work from home via laptop once I'm a week or so past surgery, and fortunately things will be slow at the office during the holidays. But still...can they live without me?! Do I want to find out?
I have met with my surgeon and plastic surgeon recently, and actually am meeting with them again this week for pre-op appointments. The only real drama that's going on right now is the radiation issue. My surgeon and chemo doctor both said in passing that they didn't think I would need radiation, but the radiation oncologist said he thought I should do it. :-( The bottom line is that I am a borderline case for radiation since my tumor was 3.5 centimeters (they typically give radiation if the tumor is 5 centimeters or more) and I only had one positive lymph node (they typically do radiation if 4 or more lymph nodes are positive).
After talking to all my doctors, we have agreed to go forward with surgery and then see how the results of the pathology look after surgery. If all the tissue and lymph nodes come back clear and cancer free, as we expect them to, then I will forego radiation. Yea!! (Remember that the chemo did such a great job shrinking the tumor to almost nothing - so I am expecting that it got rid of any other cancerous tissue as well.) If we get a bad report, which I am not even anticipating, then we will re-visit radiation at that time.
SO, PLEASE be in prayer for me and the results of the surgery pathology from the tissue and lymph nodes. I am expecting to be finished with all treatment once I get surgery behind me. I am ready to be cancer free in 2009!
I have met with my surgeon and plastic surgeon recently, and actually am meeting with them again this week for pre-op appointments. The only real drama that's going on right now is the radiation issue. My surgeon and chemo doctor both said in passing that they didn't think I would need radiation, but the radiation oncologist said he thought I should do it. :-( The bottom line is that I am a borderline case for radiation since my tumor was 3.5 centimeters (they typically give radiation if the tumor is 5 centimeters or more) and I only had one positive lymph node (they typically do radiation if 4 or more lymph nodes are positive).
After talking to all my doctors, we have agreed to go forward with surgery and then see how the results of the pathology look after surgery. If all the tissue and lymph nodes come back clear and cancer free, as we expect them to, then I will forego radiation. Yea!! (Remember that the chemo did such a great job shrinking the tumor to almost nothing - so I am expecting that it got rid of any other cancerous tissue as well.) If we get a bad report, which I am not even anticipating, then we will re-visit radiation at that time.
SO, PLEASE be in prayer for me and the results of the surgery pathology from the tissue and lymph nodes. I am expecting to be finished with all treatment once I get surgery behind me. I am ready to be cancer free in 2009!
Nov 15, 2008
An Exciting Ending
Leave it to me to make my last chemo an exciting race to see if it would even happen! On Thursday after work, the left side of my heart felt very heavy and uncomfortable. I kept telling myself I was just under a lot of stress. Keith took me to Fred's Barbecue for dinner, and my left arm began to feel heavy and mildly painful. I argued with myself for a few minutes, trying to convince myself that I was fine. I finally told Keith what was going on, and he said those words I really didn't want to hear: "Let's go to the hospital now."
So off we went. I must say, when you walk into the ER and say the words "chest pain," you get very preferential treatment! (Let me insert a side note that I love Baylor-Irving hospital. I have met the most wonderful, caring staff members there.) They ended up drawing blood, doing an x-ray, an EKG and a CT scan to ensure I was not having a heart attack and that I didn't have a blood clot in my chest - apparently something that can happen when you have cancer. All the tests were clear - I was fine. But the doctor came in and said he was admitting me for the night to watch my blood enzyme levels and for general observation. NOT what I wanted to hear; I wanted to go home.
Instead, Keith and I got to my room around 1:00 am and Keith slept in the chair/bed beside me. We got to sleep around 2:00; they woke us up at 4:00 to do all my vital signs. They were back in the room at 7:00 am. Fun stuff. That morning the doctor said I could be released if I passed a stress test. So I took my first stress test and thankfully passed it with flying colors. The doctor was looking at my heart on the sonogram machine saying, "Beautiful pictures!" (He was originally from Columbia and had a great accent!) No blockage, no problems, my heart is in good shape.
We were all looking at the pictures of my heart when Keith then told the doctor and technician, "She gave that to me 30 years ago." What a precious guy. He melted my heart. Then, it was back to my room to wait to be discharged. It was around 11:00 am and I was scheduled for my last chemo treatment at 12:30. I was DETERMINED to make that treatment happen, even though the doctor had told me earlier that morning that we might have to put it off until next week. I ended up getting discharged at 12:40 and we walked next door to the medical building and started my last chemo. We made it!
Let me back up a moment and explain that it was pretty much decided that my "episode" was caused by stress. Imagine that. I have a very stressful job, (well, really, who doesn't?) and I have continued working a normal schedule with the exception of Friday afternoon chemo treatments. I work for a hedge fund, and the financial crisis has certainly made the stress at work increase. Even though my side effects have been pretty mild during the second half of chemo, I still deal daily with fatigue and other minor ailments. As I have approached the exciting end of chemo, I've been thinking a lot about surgery and all of the current unknowns that go along with that. So, I think I was a lot more stressed than I realized.
Now, back to my last chemo treatment. It didn't exactly go as I had envisioned it. I hadn't had a shower, no makeup, wearing old jeans and a fleece jacket from the night before. But it was wonderful. My mom brought sandwiches for us and the staff, and Paige and Chance arrived about halfway through the treatment. They brought me a darling Cookie Bouquet - the cookies had pink ribbon breast cancer awareness symbols on the front. Then my mom brought out a huge German chocolate cake to add to the celebration. After cake, my mom and dad gave me a huge box from my favorite store - Ann Taylor - and it contained a complete new outfit. Now THAT'S a party!
We watched the last drops of Taxol drip out of the IV, and cheered! My two wonderful nurses, Belinda and Janelle, posed for a picture with me and gave me a certificate called the "Purple Heart" for completing my treatment. It was such an amazing feeling to know I had made it through 4 1/2 months of this thing that I had dreaded - and even more amazing to realize that it WORKED so well for me.
I had my sonogram and MRI last week and learned that the tumor has shrunk from 3.5 centimeters to 5 millimeters. The doctor said the tumor is now so small he wouldn't have known it was there if he didn't know where to look. I am so thankful that I have experienced such great results from my treatment.
This coming Thursday I meet with the surgeon, and begin learning all about surgery and the options. I still have some decisions to make. Please rejoice with me and my family for the succssful conclusion of chemotherapy. I am proud to say I am a survivor but I can't make that statement without giving God all the credit and glory for carrying me through. Now, please continue to keep me in your prayers during these next few weeks as my body regains strength and we make plans for surgery. God is good, all the time!
So off we went. I must say, when you walk into the ER and say the words "chest pain," you get very preferential treatment! (Let me insert a side note that I love Baylor-Irving hospital. I have met the most wonderful, caring staff members there.) They ended up drawing blood, doing an x-ray, an EKG and a CT scan to ensure I was not having a heart attack and that I didn't have a blood clot in my chest - apparently something that can happen when you have cancer. All the tests were clear - I was fine. But the doctor came in and said he was admitting me for the night to watch my blood enzyme levels and for general observation. NOT what I wanted to hear; I wanted to go home.
Instead, Keith and I got to my room around 1:00 am and Keith slept in the chair/bed beside me. We got to sleep around 2:00; they woke us up at 4:00 to do all my vital signs. They were back in the room at 7:00 am. Fun stuff. That morning the doctor said I could be released if I passed a stress test. So I took my first stress test and thankfully passed it with flying colors. The doctor was looking at my heart on the sonogram machine saying, "Beautiful pictures!" (He was originally from Columbia and had a great accent!) No blockage, no problems, my heart is in good shape.
We were all looking at the pictures of my heart when Keith then told the doctor and technician, "She gave that to me 30 years ago." What a precious guy. He melted my heart. Then, it was back to my room to wait to be discharged. It was around 11:00 am and I was scheduled for my last chemo treatment at 12:30. I was DETERMINED to make that treatment happen, even though the doctor had told me earlier that morning that we might have to put it off until next week. I ended up getting discharged at 12:40 and we walked next door to the medical building and started my last chemo. We made it!
Let me back up a moment and explain that it was pretty much decided that my "episode" was caused by stress. Imagine that. I have a very stressful job, (well, really, who doesn't?) and I have continued working a normal schedule with the exception of Friday afternoon chemo treatments. I work for a hedge fund, and the financial crisis has certainly made the stress at work increase. Even though my side effects have been pretty mild during the second half of chemo, I still deal daily with fatigue and other minor ailments. As I have approached the exciting end of chemo, I've been thinking a lot about surgery and all of the current unknowns that go along with that. So, I think I was a lot more stressed than I realized.
Now, back to my last chemo treatment. It didn't exactly go as I had envisioned it. I hadn't had a shower, no makeup, wearing old jeans and a fleece jacket from the night before. But it was wonderful. My mom brought sandwiches for us and the staff, and Paige and Chance arrived about halfway through the treatment. They brought me a darling Cookie Bouquet - the cookies had pink ribbon breast cancer awareness symbols on the front. Then my mom brought out a huge German chocolate cake to add to the celebration. After cake, my mom and dad gave me a huge box from my favorite store - Ann Taylor - and it contained a complete new outfit. Now THAT'S a party!
We watched the last drops of Taxol drip out of the IV, and cheered! My two wonderful nurses, Belinda and Janelle, posed for a picture with me and gave me a certificate called the "Purple Heart" for completing my treatment. It was such an amazing feeling to know I had made it through 4 1/2 months of this thing that I had dreaded - and even more amazing to realize that it WORKED so well for me.
I had my sonogram and MRI last week and learned that the tumor has shrunk from 3.5 centimeters to 5 millimeters. The doctor said the tumor is now so small he wouldn't have known it was there if he didn't know where to look. I am so thankful that I have experienced such great results from my treatment.
This coming Thursday I meet with the surgeon, and begin learning all about surgery and the options. I still have some decisions to make. Please rejoice with me and my family for the succssful conclusion of chemotherapy. I am proud to say I am a survivor but I can't make that statement without giving God all the credit and glory for carrying me through. Now, please continue to keep me in your prayers during these next few weeks as my body regains strength and we make plans for surgery. God is good, all the time!
Nov 7, 2008
The End of Chemo Is In Sight!
I only have one chemo treatment left. This is so amazing to me! I have been in treatment since July 11 and, at that time, mid-November seemed so very far away. But I've made it through! I met with my oncologist today and we are now at the point where she is scheduling my end-of-treatment MRI and my consultation with my surgeon for a couple of weeks from now. So, one phase is ending and another is beginning.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
I've learned - and experienced - some pretty incredible things since my diagnosis in June. Three of the most important things I've learned are the wisdom, comfort and importance of God's Word; the incredible power of prayer; and what an amazing support group I have in my family - and friends. Would you believe me if I told you that what I have learned and experienced about my Lord, His Word, prayer, and the people who love me have been worth the five months of nasty chemo? I have to tell you that it's true. I have not enjoyed anything about taking chemo, but I have been so blessed in the process!
A couple of months ago I came across a Psalm I had previously underlined in my Bible, and the passage has been my personal encouragement. I memorized Psalm 103:1-5 and repeat it to myself daily as a reminder of who God is and what He has done for me:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul. and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord IS healing my disease. The tumor is practically gone - it has shrunk by at least 80%. So the chemo has done what we prayed it would do - it worked! Surgery should finish the process. There is a possibility I will have radiation, but that decision will be determined after surgery depending on if my lymph nodes' tissue shows any cancer. I am optimistic that surgery will be the end of my process, but as always, we will trust God to lead us and the doctors in this.
The Lord has certainly redeemed my life from the pit eternally - but He also carried me through the pit of chemotherapy! The first chemo drug I took in July and August was bad - I felt sick all the time, tired all the time, and didn't want to eat much due to nausea. Then I started the second drug and had an allergic reaction to it and it took over two weeks for my hands and feet to heal from the reaction. It was miserable. BUT, this third (and final) drug that I have been taking every Friday since Sept. 5 has been much milder and easier to live with. What a blessing! I feel pretty tired at the end of the day, and I have trouble sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights each week due to the steroids I have to take along with the chemo, but that's really it. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be hard on the cancer and easy on Val has been answered in these last 2 months.
Speaking of prayer - God has satisfied my desires with good things! I can't begin to count the way I have been blessed with good things through answered prayer. I am convinced that the reason I have made it through these months of chemo (while continuing to work every day!) is because of the prayers given on my behalf. My incredible family and extended family has been such a prayer support for me. I will always remember Keith anointing me with oil and praying over me, along with Paige and Chance. What a special memory. And I continue to be amazed to learn of friends and loved ones and even people I've never met who have prayed for me - many have told me how they pray for me EVERY DAY. I am so humbled - and inspired. Knowing how I am being prayed for has changed the way I pray - I have become so much more aware of the power of prayer through my experience that I find myself much more committed to praying for others. I wouldn't have learned this lesson in this way if I hadn't experienced cancer.
Last week was Baylor Homecoming and Paige and Chance visited the KOT (Chance's fraternity) float site the night before the parade - their float won! Chance told me earlier this week that four of his KOT buddies came up to him that night and asked about me! Chance had shared a prayer request for me through an email with other KOTs a while back, and these young men I've never met have been praying for me and keeping up with my progress. Amazing! I am so awed by the breadth of the prayers for me and so glad I have experienced first-hand the prayers of the saints. My positive results from the chemo and the way God carried me through the tough days are a result of those who love the Lord and participate in intercessory prayer. All I can say is thank you for praying for me. It makes a difference.
Another of the "good things" I continue to experience is the wonderful flow of cards and emails of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraged and loved I feel when I check the mail each day - and find a card from someone I love! I just went through my stack of cards - I keep every one - and I have received 125 cards from you, my loved ones, since the end of June. That boggles my mind! That is pretty darn close to an average of a card a day. I can't put into words how much these cards mean to me and how they have brightened my spirit. Several cards were handmade - so beautiful! - and a few "card warriors" send me a card faithfully every week or every other week. Every card is unique and touches my heart. Who doesn't like to get mail that says, "You are in my thoughts" or "I'm praying for you!!" All I can say is thank you for sending me notes of love. It makes a difference.
And then there is my family. My illness has drawn each of us into a deeper personal relationship with our Father. It has also drawn us into a deeper love for one another, and we tell each other about that love more often than we ever did before. This wouldn't have happened if.... You get my message. Keith, my mom and my dad are faithful to sit with me during my chemo treatments. And Paige calls for a chat during every treatment. I can tell you this means so much to me - especially when so many patients are there alone. I am blessed and loved and so appreciative of the gift of family.
We have experienced the apostle Paul's reminder: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Another reminder that God "satisfies our desires with good things." Even when our situation is difficult and not one of our own choosing. God is good - all the time.
So next Friday, Nov. 14, is my last chemo treatment. At 12:30. We will be celebrating the end of this phase of my treatment. I will also be remembering the prayers...the cards...the meals...the friends...the family...the faithful Lord who brought me through these months. As John tells us in 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
If you have been a part of my support group, thank you for serving the Lord with your acts of love for me.
I will update you soon with info about my next phase of this journey. Please keep me in your prayers as we plan for surgery.
Oct 12, 2008
Week Three
Friday was my third Taxol chemo treatment (only five more to go!) and I am settling into my routine of weekly treatments. I was more tired than usual over the weekend, and I am sure that I am beginning to feel the cumulative effects of the chemo. I ran a few errands on Saturday but Keith and I stayed home all day Sunday - I just felt drained and tired. I am still able to work full-time, but Mondays are my hardest day of the week. By Monday, all of the steroids they give me on Friday during chemo wear off, and I seem to hit bottom. Then Tuesday through Thursday I am tired but able to make it through each day at work - and I spend the evenings in my recliner resting up. Friday we start the routine all over again.
On Monday, I went to the doctor for bloodwork at the end of the day, and discovered my white cell count and red cell count were both too low. When my red count is low, I feel so very tired and sick- like I have the flu - and I was feeling like this by Monday afternoon. The nurse gave me two shots to build up my counts, but it takes the shots a day or two to do their work, so Tuesday I was really feeling bad. I only worked that morning, then came home and napped on the couch for the afternoon. I perked up some that evening, however, as the shots began to take effect.
Today I am much better - other than mild fatigue, I am feeling pretty normal. So I have to say that this new treatment schedule is working for me - as long as I can keep my blood counts up!
Last weekend was a special treat because Keith and I took a road trip to Waco to spend Saturday and Sunday with Paige and Chance. We went out to dinner on Saturday night and attended church together on Sunday. I loved visiting Paige and Chance's Young Marrieds Sunday School class, and it was so sweet to be there to see Paige and Chance officially join Columbus Avenue Baptist Church. I am so proud of them and thrilled to know they have found a church home where they can be involved.
So I am living through chemo treatments while maintaining a fairly normal lifestyle. Who knew? I am so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel - only five more treatments and I am DONE with this chemo stuff. Then, a break of three weeks or so, then surgery.
My biggest struggle right now is with my blood counts, so please pray for me these next few weeks - that my counts will stay high and I will continue to feel strong and maintain a normal routine. Thank you for your prayers and support!
On Monday, I went to the doctor for bloodwork at the end of the day, and discovered my white cell count and red cell count were both too low. When my red count is low, I feel so very tired and sick- like I have the flu - and I was feeling like this by Monday afternoon. The nurse gave me two shots to build up my counts, but it takes the shots a day or two to do their work, so Tuesday I was really feeling bad. I only worked that morning, then came home and napped on the couch for the afternoon. I perked up some that evening, however, as the shots began to take effect.
Today I am much better - other than mild fatigue, I am feeling pretty normal. So I have to say that this new treatment schedule is working for me - as long as I can keep my blood counts up!
Last weekend was a special treat because Keith and I took a road trip to Waco to spend Saturday and Sunday with Paige and Chance. We went out to dinner on Saturday night and attended church together on Sunday. I loved visiting Paige and Chance's Young Marrieds Sunday School class, and it was so sweet to be there to see Paige and Chance officially join Columbus Avenue Baptist Church. I am so proud of them and thrilled to know they have found a church home where they can be involved.
So I am living through chemo treatments while maintaining a fairly normal lifestyle. Who knew? I am so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel - only five more treatments and I am DONE with this chemo stuff. Then, a break of three weeks or so, then surgery.
My biggest struggle right now is with my blood counts, so please pray for me these next few weeks - that my counts will stay high and I will continue to feel strong and maintain a normal routine. Thank you for your prayers and support!
Sep 27, 2008
One Down...
Well, my hands and feet are almost healed from the allergic reaction I had to my previous chemo treatment on Sept. 5. All the skin has peeled off the palms of my hands and my toes and heels. I am happy to report that the plagues of Job appear to have left the Patton household. Believe me, it was a tough couple of weeks but I am so much better.
Yesterday I had my first chemo treatment with the new drug called Taxol. It is an eight-week program, and I take this treatment every Friday afternoon for seven more weeks now. Since I take it weekly, the drug is obviously milder, and I have already discovered that the side effects are so much milder than what I have experienced with past drugs! They gave me Benadryl during my treatment, to prevent an allergic reaction to the drug, so I actually napped through the last half of my treatment. But I was fine by the time I got home and just spent a relaxing evening in my recliner.
I have to take steroids with this drug, so the worst was last night - I wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:00 am. But I slept in this morning and had a great day. I actually ran errands and did some chores and had one of the most normal Saturdays I've had in a couple of months. It was lovely.
So I have a good feeling about this new treatment plan, despite the fact that I have to go every week. The main concern is that my red and white blood cell counts remain within range so that I can take my treatments on schedule, so please pray specifically for this for me. I want to be FINISHED with chemo on November14 if at all possible, so we will pray toward this goal.
I want to thank so many of you, my sweet friends, who are serving the Lord by sharing His love with me. Your weekly cards with notes of concern and love, gifts, food, prayers, and many other kind acts humble me, and I pray that you, the giver, will also be blessed for your obedience to serving God by serving others.
It's funny...I fought so hard to avoid taking this weekly chemo drug because I just didn't think it would work well for my schedule, etc. But God's plan is so perfect and I am amazed at how good I feel - at least so far - and I am reminded, once again, to allow Him to be in control. He is good...all the time.
Yesterday I had my first chemo treatment with the new drug called Taxol. It is an eight-week program, and I take this treatment every Friday afternoon for seven more weeks now. Since I take it weekly, the drug is obviously milder, and I have already discovered that the side effects are so much milder than what I have experienced with past drugs! They gave me Benadryl during my treatment, to prevent an allergic reaction to the drug, so I actually napped through the last half of my treatment. But I was fine by the time I got home and just spent a relaxing evening in my recliner.
I have to take steroids with this drug, so the worst was last night - I wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:00 am. But I slept in this morning and had a great day. I actually ran errands and did some chores and had one of the most normal Saturdays I've had in a couple of months. It was lovely.
So I have a good feeling about this new treatment plan, despite the fact that I have to go every week. The main concern is that my red and white blood cell counts remain within range so that I can take my treatments on schedule, so please pray specifically for this for me. I want to be FINISHED with chemo on November14 if at all possible, so we will pray toward this goal.
I want to thank so many of you, my sweet friends, who are serving the Lord by sharing His love with me. Your weekly cards with notes of concern and love, gifts, food, prayers, and many other kind acts humble me, and I pray that you, the giver, will also be blessed for your obedience to serving God by serving others.
It's funny...I fought so hard to avoid taking this weekly chemo drug because I just didn't think it would work well for my schedule, etc. But God's plan is so perfect and I am amazed at how good I feel - at least so far - and I am reminded, once again, to allow Him to be in control. He is good...all the time.
Sep 10, 2008
God's Timing
A lot has happened since my post over the weekend, so let me just fill you in. I had an allergic reaction to the new chemo drug I received this past Friday and the past few days have really been pretty unpleasant. The palms of my hands turned bright red as if burned and felt that way too. My feet, mostly along the sides of my heels, also appeared red and burned and slightly blistered. I also developed a rash on the tops of my hands and under my arms. Oh, yes, the plagues of Job are alive and well and living at the Patton home! Keith took me to see my oncologist on Tuesday and she confirmed this was one of the worst allergic reactions she has seen to this chemo drug, so needless to say I won't be taking it anymore. They treated me with steroids via an IV on Tuesday and again today, and fortunately that is beginning to work and I am slowly seeing some relief today.
So...all my excitement about "only 3 more treatments" has gone by the wayside. I have two more weeks off to recover from this reaction, but will resume chemo treatments with yet a new drug on Sept. 26 - and this is the one that I must take every week for 12 weeks. I had so hoped to avoid this, because EVERY WEEK seems so daunting. But as Keith reminded me while we were spending Tuesday afternoon in the doctor's office, this IS a part of God's plan, and we will trust His perfect timing because it is perfect and not daunting.
I've had a couple of really tough days this week - it's not fun when you can barely walk or hold a fork in your hand. But Keith takes such sweet care of me and I have a great doctor who is guiding us through this. And my coworkers have been so wonderful to help me in so many ways. Fortunately I can work from home on my laptop and I have been able to keep from falling too far behind.
Paige is coming home Friday night to spend the night and some quality time. She started a new job this week with Curves and I'm so proud of her for her new opportunity. She is so precious to bring me little presents when she comes home to see me, just to lift my spirits. Last time she brought me a beautiful designer lip gloss from Nordstrom, and I got all teary-eyed, because she is so good to me. I told her I didn't know anyone but me who cried over lip gloss! Check me out next time you see me; I have the shiniest bronze lips around!
I mentioned the plagues of Job earlier, so went to that book and found my favorite verse there: "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) God is good all the time, even when I'm having a tough day here. Enough said.
So...all my excitement about "only 3 more treatments" has gone by the wayside. I have two more weeks off to recover from this reaction, but will resume chemo treatments with yet a new drug on Sept. 26 - and this is the one that I must take every week for 12 weeks. I had so hoped to avoid this, because EVERY WEEK seems so daunting. But as Keith reminded me while we were spending Tuesday afternoon in the doctor's office, this IS a part of God's plan, and we will trust His perfect timing because it is perfect and not daunting.
I've had a couple of really tough days this week - it's not fun when you can barely walk or hold a fork in your hand. But Keith takes such sweet care of me and I have a great doctor who is guiding us through this. And my coworkers have been so wonderful to help me in so many ways. Fortunately I can work from home on my laptop and I have been able to keep from falling too far behind.
Paige is coming home Friday night to spend the night and some quality time. She started a new job this week with Curves and I'm so proud of her for her new opportunity. She is so precious to bring me little presents when she comes home to see me, just to lift my spirits. Last time she brought me a beautiful designer lip gloss from Nordstrom, and I got all teary-eyed, because she is so good to me. I told her I didn't know anyone but me who cried over lip gloss! Check me out next time you see me; I have the shiniest bronze lips around!
I mentioned the plagues of Job earlier, so went to that book and found my favorite verse there: "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) God is good all the time, even when I'm having a tough day here. Enough said.
Sep 6, 2008
"Come and Listen"
"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me." Psalm 66:16
The past week has been a memorable one and I have much good news to share. First, I spoke with my lead doctor/surgeon, Dr. Clifford, on Tuesday and learned the results of my genetic testing - the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. NEGATIVE! I must tell you that even the doctor was surprised by this result; we were all assuming I would be positive due to my strong family history (all 3 of my mom's sisters have had breast cancer). This fabulous news means that I am not carrying a gene that makes me highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, as well as several other cancers. It also means that my sweet daughter is not a potential carrier of this hereditary gene, making her a much higher risk for cancer in her lifetime. So we celebrate this unexpectedly joyous news and praise God for the blessing.
Now that I am halfway through my chemo treatments - YES, it's true! - I had a sonogram on Wednesday to determine how much my tumor has decreased in size. It was apparent to my oncologist that it was shrinking simply by physical examination, but we wanted a true report. Amazingly, my tumor has shrunk by 80%!!! It has gone from 4 centimeters to 1 centimeter in the 2 months of chemo treatments. Obviously the chemo is working and we are all so thrilled with this wonderful news.
Now that I have shared all the great news, I have to admit that the past month - my last two chemo treatments - were pretty tough. After breezing through the first two treatments with minimal side effects, the bottom pretty much fell out. The nausea increased quite a bit so my eating decreased quite a bit. I've lost the weight I had been trying to lose pre-diagnosis - but I wouldn't recommend the chemo diet to anyone! But the worst side effect I encountered was the drop in my red and white blood cell count. This is something that simply happens as a result of chemo, and there are shots they give me to bring the blood counts back up. However, when those red cell counts drop, I feel like I have a roaring case of the flu - zero energy - taking a shower to get ready for work wears me out, etc. Since it takes a few days for the shots to kick in, I spent a couple of weeks feeling pretty miserable between the nausea and the weakness.
But -- I am now finished with the first round of medication that was causing all these nasty side effects and yesterday I began the second half of chemo treatment with a new drug that may be a bit milder on my system. I actually feel pretty darn good today, all things considered! Other than taking a little nap this afternoon, I've been up and about all day. The side effect of this drug that is miserable is that it affects the skin on my hands and feet. It causes sensitivity, peeling, and some tingling/burning feelings at times. So I am keeping Vitamin E oil slathered on my hands and feet. With chemo, there's always something...but I only have 3 MORE TO GO!
I will most likely finish chemo treatments on November 7 if all goes well. My surgeon wants to wait about three weeks before surgery, which takes me through Thanksgiving. Do you think we might have a lot to be thankful for this year!? Then in early December I will have surgery. I'm not too sure what that will entail yet because we won't meet with Dr. Clifford until chemo is complete, and there will be another MRI to give us good information about the current status of everything, but I know I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the right side. I don't have enough information yet to determine whether I will also have the left side removed too. This is such an important decision, but my doctor tells me now is not the time to worry about this, so I will commit it to prayer and know God will lead me to the right decision at the right time.
During the past few weeks, there is only one thing that kept me going: YOU. My family and sweet friends who have done so much to lift my spirits, encourage me, and most of all, continually lift me to the Father, from whom I receive my strength. I continue to receive your cards and emails of encouragement and love, our YAMs Sunday School class brings us meals, friends have delivered thoughtful gifts, my friends at work have brought food, sent me flowers, allowed me to slip out early on those days when I felt so bad, so many of you find me on Sundays to make sure I receive a hug and words of encouragement, and the list goes on.
My family is my greatest source of daily strength and encouragement. On August 23, Keith led me, Paige and Chance in an anointing service , and it was such a special time of worship for our family. He used James 5:13-16 and 2 Corinthians 12 as his text and we focused on verse 10: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." He anointed my forehead with oil in the sign of the cross. Then Keith, Paige and Chance each prayed over me. I can't find words to describe the peace and hope God gave me in those moments as my husband and sweet kids demonstrated their faith in God and in His healing power - and their incredible love for me. We made a memory that night and God is answering our prayer of faith and making me well (see James 5:15)!
Please keep me on your prayer list in the coming weeks as I don't know yet how this new chemo drug is going to affect me in the days to come. Please pray for my strength and healthy blood counts. Most of all, please pray that, even as the chemo temporarily weakens my body, I will be strong in my faith and hope and witness as the Father leads me to wholeness.
God is good...all the time!
The past week has been a memorable one and I have much good news to share. First, I spoke with my lead doctor/surgeon, Dr. Clifford, on Tuesday and learned the results of my genetic testing - the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. NEGATIVE! I must tell you that even the doctor was surprised by this result; we were all assuming I would be positive due to my strong family history (all 3 of my mom's sisters have had breast cancer). This fabulous news means that I am not carrying a gene that makes me highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, as well as several other cancers. It also means that my sweet daughter is not a potential carrier of this hereditary gene, making her a much higher risk for cancer in her lifetime. So we celebrate this unexpectedly joyous news and praise God for the blessing.
Now that I am halfway through my chemo treatments - YES, it's true! - I had a sonogram on Wednesday to determine how much my tumor has decreased in size. It was apparent to my oncologist that it was shrinking simply by physical examination, but we wanted a true report. Amazingly, my tumor has shrunk by 80%!!! It has gone from 4 centimeters to 1 centimeter in the 2 months of chemo treatments. Obviously the chemo is working and we are all so thrilled with this wonderful news.
Now that I have shared all the great news, I have to admit that the past month - my last two chemo treatments - were pretty tough. After breezing through the first two treatments with minimal side effects, the bottom pretty much fell out. The nausea increased quite a bit so my eating decreased quite a bit. I've lost the weight I had been trying to lose pre-diagnosis - but I wouldn't recommend the chemo diet to anyone! But the worst side effect I encountered was the drop in my red and white blood cell count. This is something that simply happens as a result of chemo, and there are shots they give me to bring the blood counts back up. However, when those red cell counts drop, I feel like I have a roaring case of the flu - zero energy - taking a shower to get ready for work wears me out, etc. Since it takes a few days for the shots to kick in, I spent a couple of weeks feeling pretty miserable between the nausea and the weakness.
But -- I am now finished with the first round of medication that was causing all these nasty side effects and yesterday I began the second half of chemo treatment with a new drug that may be a bit milder on my system. I actually feel pretty darn good today, all things considered! Other than taking a little nap this afternoon, I've been up and about all day. The side effect of this drug that is miserable is that it affects the skin on my hands and feet. It causes sensitivity, peeling, and some tingling/burning feelings at times. So I am keeping Vitamin E oil slathered on my hands and feet. With chemo, there's always something...but I only have 3 MORE TO GO!
I will most likely finish chemo treatments on November 7 if all goes well. My surgeon wants to wait about three weeks before surgery, which takes me through Thanksgiving. Do you think we might have a lot to be thankful for this year!? Then in early December I will have surgery. I'm not too sure what that will entail yet because we won't meet with Dr. Clifford until chemo is complete, and there will be another MRI to give us good information about the current status of everything, but I know I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the right side. I don't have enough information yet to determine whether I will also have the left side removed too. This is such an important decision, but my doctor tells me now is not the time to worry about this, so I will commit it to prayer and know God will lead me to the right decision at the right time.
During the past few weeks, there is only one thing that kept me going: YOU. My family and sweet friends who have done so much to lift my spirits, encourage me, and most of all, continually lift me to the Father, from whom I receive my strength. I continue to receive your cards and emails of encouragement and love, our YAMs Sunday School class brings us meals, friends have delivered thoughtful gifts, my friends at work have brought food, sent me flowers, allowed me to slip out early on those days when I felt so bad, so many of you find me on Sundays to make sure I receive a hug and words of encouragement, and the list goes on.
My family is my greatest source of daily strength and encouragement. On August 23, Keith led me, Paige and Chance in an anointing service , and it was such a special time of worship for our family. He used James 5:13-16 and 2 Corinthians 12 as his text and we focused on verse 10: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." He anointed my forehead with oil in the sign of the cross. Then Keith, Paige and Chance each prayed over me. I can't find words to describe the peace and hope God gave me in those moments as my husband and sweet kids demonstrated their faith in God and in His healing power - and their incredible love for me. We made a memory that night and God is answering our prayer of faith and making me well (see James 5:15)!
Please keep me on your prayer list in the coming weeks as I don't know yet how this new chemo drug is going to affect me in the days to come. Please pray for my strength and healthy blood counts. Most of all, please pray that, even as the chemo temporarily weakens my body, I will be strong in my faith and hope and witness as the Father leads me to wholeness.
God is good...all the time!
Aug 4, 2008
Be Still
This has been a week for catching up with long-lost friends and hearing from people from my past. They say good news travels fast, but I say bad news travels even faster. As the news of my breast cancer has spread through the grapevine, I have begun to receive messages of encouragement from so many wonderful friends, relatives, and even acquaintances with whom I had lost touch. I find it quite amazing that, in the family of God, you can go years without seeing a friend, and when you do meet up again, you are able to pick up right where you left off. Sharing a common faith and future binds us together forever.
This week I am feeling pretty good, although I continue to be so tired. By the time I get home from work and have dinner - I'm toast. I doze on and off until bedtime, then start the process over again the next day. I have one new side effect that I'm not too happy with -- mouth ulcers. I don't mean an irritating ulcer like you sometimes get, I mean one entire side of my mouth is covered and it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, whine, whine. You know, the chemo destroys the bad cells (yay!) but also some of the good, and that's where this mouth issue comes in. Apparently this is a common side effect. My doctor gave me a prescription for a liquid I can swish in my mouth to help with the pain, but it's seriously called "Gross Cocktail" -- if that gives you any idea how it tastes!
I am beginning to see that with each chemo treatment I am slowing down more and more. I have been going along, living my life as usual, living like I'm not sick. But I am, and I am understanding the importance of slowing down and letting my body rest. So here is my new verse for this week. I didn't search the concordance for it; it just came to me as I was sitting here contemplating my need for rest: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Wow. The Lord just told me that I need to be still, slow down - and let HIM be in control of my life. Of my cancer. Of my side effects. OF MY HEALING.
I'm pretty certain I am not the only one racing through life today, trying to do it all, pretending there's not really anything wrong, needing to just BE STILL and allow God to be Lord of my life. So join me this week and let's be still in God's presence. I look forward now to a peace-filled Friday at chemo, knowing I am going to be spiritually prepared. I'll let you know how it goes.
This week I am feeling pretty good, although I continue to be so tired. By the time I get home from work and have dinner - I'm toast. I doze on and off until bedtime, then start the process over again the next day. I have one new side effect that I'm not too happy with -- mouth ulcers. I don't mean an irritating ulcer like you sometimes get, I mean one entire side of my mouth is covered and it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, whine, whine. You know, the chemo destroys the bad cells (yay!) but also some of the good, and that's where this mouth issue comes in. Apparently this is a common side effect. My doctor gave me a prescription for a liquid I can swish in my mouth to help with the pain, but it's seriously called "Gross Cocktail" -- if that gives you any idea how it tastes!
I am beginning to see that with each chemo treatment I am slowing down more and more. I have been going along, living my life as usual, living like I'm not sick. But I am, and I am understanding the importance of slowing down and letting my body rest. So here is my new verse for this week. I didn't search the concordance for it; it just came to me as I was sitting here contemplating my need for rest: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Wow. The Lord just told me that I need to be still, slow down - and let HIM be in control of my life. Of my cancer. Of my side effects. OF MY HEALING.
I'm pretty certain I am not the only one racing through life today, trying to do it all, pretending there's not really anything wrong, needing to just BE STILL and allow God to be Lord of my life. So join me this week and let's be still in God's presence. I look forward now to a peace-filled Friday at chemo, knowing I am going to be spiritually prepared. I'll let you know how it goes.
Jul 29, 2008
Wonderful News!!
We received such wonderful news today!! I had an appointment this afternoon with my oncologist, Dr. Juvvadi, and she confirmed that the tumor has significantly shrunk in size after only two rounds of chemo! We are just ecstatic. Keith's prayer that the chemo would be "hard on the cancer and easy on Val" has been answered.
Before my treatment began, the doctor told us that this particular cancer drug is very effective on my particular type of cancer, and that it was possible that my tumor would completely disappear. Well, we are on our way to that end.
This news does not change the treatment plan long-term, but it encourages us that the chemo is effective and that the cancer is being eliminated.
God has blessed me in so many ways - I am experiencing minimal side effects to the chemo, and now this good news. Please join me in thanking our Lord for answering our prayers. I continue to be blessed beyond measure by your prayers.
"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:10-11
Before my treatment began, the doctor told us that this particular cancer drug is very effective on my particular type of cancer, and that it was possible that my tumor would completely disappear. Well, we are on our way to that end.
This news does not change the treatment plan long-term, but it encourages us that the chemo is effective and that the cancer is being eliminated.
God has blessed me in so many ways - I am experiencing minimal side effects to the chemo, and now this good news. Please join me in thanking our Lord for answering our prayers. I continue to be blessed beyond measure by your prayers.
"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:10-11
Jul 26, 2008
Chemo #2 (How Great Is Our God)
One of my favorite praise songs is "How Great is Our God."
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CHORUS Name above all names, You are Worthy of all praise, and My heart will sing how great is our God //CHORUS How great is our God, Sing with me, How great is our God, and all will see How great, How great is our God.
My heart is singing this song of praise this morning as I share the Amazing news of how the Chemo #2 experience played out for me yesterday. First of all, I had been through it before, so the anticipation and fear were gone, and I was much more relaxed and knew what to expect. When I first arrive, they do my bloodwork, and then we have to wait for almost an hour for all those results to come back. If all the bloodwork is good, then I can have chemo. Well, all my bloodwork was excellent yesterday! So we (Keith, Mom & Dad) went back to the chemo room and they got me ready to go. The chemo process takes just over two hours for the various drugs to drip through the IV. People were commenting on how perky I was when I arrived - but about an hour into the treatment, Little Miss Perky danced away and I turned into the little limp dishrag that is part of the first week of chemo treatment. I actually drifted off to sleep for about 10 minutes. It's just amazing how those strong meds zap your body so quickly.
But I enjoy parts of the event, too. I brought my prayer quilt for warmth - my daughter, Paige, commissioned some ladies in our church to quilt me a prayer blanket for my treatments, and it's just beautiful. There are threads tied throughout the blanket at the corners of the patches; each knot represents prayers they said for me as they made the quilt. Wow, what a treasured gift. I also brought my soft, cozy lavender house shoes Paige bought me - such a comfort while cuddled up in the chemo recliner. My daughter has it ALL going on when it come to pampering her Mom.
My mom came prepared this week with a goodie bag for us. My favorite bottled water, homemade cookies and brownies, PayDay candy bars, Cheet-Os, all the things she knew I liked to munch on. (No, I don't usually eat such junk food, but on chemo days, anything goes!) Since my appointment begins at 11:30 and goes until 3:30 or so, I miss lunch, so she came prepared with treats. It was so nice to have my favorite snacks there. THEN, she brought me some homemade chicken noodle soup last night for snacking. Yea, Mom!
Keith was able to bring his laptop and do some work while we sit and watch the IV drip. He also blows me lots of kisses (blush). And of course my Dad is always there for his wonderful moral support. I have such an amazing family to support me through this process and I love them so much for being with me through the tedious times.
Last night Paige got into to town just in time for dinner, and she is spending the weekend with us while Chance is floating the river in New Braunfels for a bachelor party for Mark, who was Chance's best man back in May.
Speaking of dinner last night - let me give a HUGE thank you to Shelley and Kelly Carson of the YAM's Sunday School department at Plymouth Park Baptist for our amazing dinner. Our SS department has graciously offered to bring us a meal on the Fridays when I have chemo treatments- this group of young people are obviously very special to me and Keith and I know the Lord will honor their giving hearts and acts of service. Anyway, Shelley and Kelly arrived with a huge pan of homemade lasagne, Italian-style green beans, gourmet salad, and two desserts - a cherry dump cake and a blackberry dump cake! Can you imagine? It was the most delicious meal and I want to say "I love you" to Kelly and Shelley for the time and love they put into our meal.
So, now to the AMAZING news about our GREAT GOD I alluded to back at the beginning. After my chemo round one I experienced a lot of fatigue (to be expected) and nausea, but the nausea stayed under control - I felt queasy and was only able to eat small meals, but I could live with it. The nausea lasted from the day of chemo (Friday) through the following Wednesday. The fatigue gradually improves but never entirely goes away. But I'm told the effects of chemo become cumulative, so I was expecting Week 2 to be tougher.
Here comes the miraculous, God is SO good part. After I left the hospital late yesterday afternoon, the nausea never appeared. I was able to enjoy Kelly and Shelley's dinner to the fullest. Of course, I was pretty zapped with fatigue, and spent the evening in my recliner, but I felt pretty darn good. I slept well last night, and this morning, I have only a slight smidgen of nausea hiding in the background. I am taking the one nausea drug that I am required to take today and Sunday, but not any of the other two or three backup nausea drugs - because I don't need them!
NOW, let me explain why I believe I am doing so incredibly well despite the fact that I am undergoing chemotherapy. Since my diagnosis on June 24, I have received 35 greeting cards and 15 emails from friends and family with such encouragement and promises of prayer for me in these days of treatment. Countless other friends and acquaintances at church are also praying for me. In addition, I have friends and family praying for me throughout Texas and in at least six other states. I believe that the prayers of the saints (YOU!) are lifting me up to the Father and he is honoring the prayers of the faithful.
James 5:15-16: "And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
It is with a humility of heart I cannot begin to describe that I thank you for caring enough for me and my family to cover us in your prayers. And I ask you to continue to do so! I have chemo scheduled again for August 8 and August 22 - assuming my blood counts remain high and healthy. So please pray for this specifically. After August, they will change me to a differnt chemo drug and the schedule will change - hopefully to every third Friday.
Paige created a prayer calendar for me for July and August, and we can mark out in a big red X the days I complete chemo treatments. But the verse for the coming week is a great verse for all of us this week:
Zephaniah 3:17: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Let's remember to take time this week to be still and quiet in His presence and simply allow Him to love and rejoice over us, because He loves us so very much.
Just like I love each of YOU so very much. God is GOOD...All the time. And all the time...God is GOOD.
Jul 23, 2008
The Wig Shop
Last Friday was Keith's birthday, so we both took a vacation day and spent the day together. What fun! Keith planned a list of errands, including the Harley shop for some birthday shopping. But it was our trip to Mimi's Wig Shop that was really an experience. Yes, I need to be prepared for my hair to fall out, so Keith drove me over to Richardson to this awesome little store.
We walked in and immediately I wanted to leave. The reality of needing a wig, the thought that I might soon need to wear a wig, was just overwhelming. Of course, Keith walked in and took charge. He immediately found me a "doo rag" (a little scarf that ties in back) that I just HAD to have - animal print no less! While he was having a big time, I could feel myself getting emotional, so I asked for directions to the ladies' room. I walked in and found the entire wall covered in little framed Bible verses - and right there in the middle of the wall, staring me in the face, was one of the verses a friend gave Keith right after my diagnosis - a verse that has been so encouraging to me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
My desire is to find the joy in my current "trial" of breast cancer, and it's amazing how much joy God will give me when I am willing to look for it. But that's another story for another blog. Anyway, I stood in that little bathroom and wiped away two or three tears of self-pity, walked back out into the wig shop, and tried on the "Dionne" wig. Oh, my goodness. It looks EXACTLY like my current haircut. So Keith renamed the "Dionne" the "Valerie." Then we shopped some more for scarves and Keith asked all the right questions -- how do you wash the wig? how often? how do you style it? He was simply amazing and his fun, positive attitude made wig shopping a success - and reminded me, yet again, why I love him so much.
In the meantime...my hair seems to have started falling out today. While I was fixing my hair this morning, I kept feeling hairs hitting my shoulders. Sure enough, a pretty good amount came out while I was doing my hair. So, I guess the "Dionne" --oops, I mean the "Valerie" -- may get a debut sooner rather than later.
Please think about me as I go through this process. Losing my hair will make having cancer just that much more real. You know, I don't look sick and don't think of myself of sick, so looking in the mirror at myself with no hair may be tough. But this is only for a season, and there is an end in sight, so that's what I'll focus on: the successful end of chemo! Please pray for this success with me!
We walked in and immediately I wanted to leave. The reality of needing a wig, the thought that I might soon need to wear a wig, was just overwhelming. Of course, Keith walked in and took charge. He immediately found me a "doo rag" (a little scarf that ties in back) that I just HAD to have - animal print no less! While he was having a big time, I could feel myself getting emotional, so I asked for directions to the ladies' room. I walked in and found the entire wall covered in little framed Bible verses - and right there in the middle of the wall, staring me in the face, was one of the verses a friend gave Keith right after my diagnosis - a verse that has been so encouraging to me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
My desire is to find the joy in my current "trial" of breast cancer, and it's amazing how much joy God will give me when I am willing to look for it. But that's another story for another blog. Anyway, I stood in that little bathroom and wiped away two or three tears of self-pity, walked back out into the wig shop, and tried on the "Dionne" wig. Oh, my goodness. It looks EXACTLY like my current haircut. So Keith renamed the "Dionne" the "Valerie." Then we shopped some more for scarves and Keith asked all the right questions -- how do you wash the wig? how often? how do you style it? He was simply amazing and his fun, positive attitude made wig shopping a success - and reminded me, yet again, why I love him so much.
In the meantime...my hair seems to have started falling out today. While I was fixing my hair this morning, I kept feeling hairs hitting my shoulders. Sure enough, a pretty good amount came out while I was doing my hair. So, I guess the "Dionne" --oops, I mean the "Valerie" -- may get a debut sooner rather than later.
Please think about me as I go through this process. Losing my hair will make having cancer just that much more real. You know, I don't look sick and don't think of myself of sick, so looking in the mirror at myself with no hair may be tough. But this is only for a season, and there is an end in sight, so that's what I'll focus on: the successful end of chemo! Please pray for this success with me!
Jul 8, 2008
The One about the Diagnosis
Well, we married off Paige and Chance on May 31 and it was a spectacular day. Paige was a beautiful bride; Chance was a smitten groom. Paige planned an amazing wedding and the reception was the most fun party ever. It was truly our family's best day ever!
Then, three weeks later, on June 24, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Wow. The following two weeks have been a whirlwind of doctor appointments or tests every day, being poked and prodded with needles and things that are "radioactive," for Pete's sake!
I have invasive lobular cancer in my right breast. It's a large tumor - 4 centimeters- that's how I found it. It is estrogen fed, which means that taking hormone replacement therapy the past two years may have caused it or at least sped up the growth of the tumor.
Keith and I have been completely positive and full of hope since the minute I was diagnosed. I told Keith that it's times like these when we determine if we really believe what we've always said we believe. Well, we do. Our faith has grown so much in these past days and we KNOW God is in control and we are trusting Him for a successful conclusion of this illness.
Tuesday, July 1, was a tough day. Further test results revealed that there is a second tumor near but separate from the first one. Also, I have one solitary lymph node that is positive with cancer. That's the one thing I had prayed so hard for - that it would not have spread to my lymph nodes. BUT I had a PET scan on Thursday and it showed that there is NO cancer anywhere else in my body!!!! So, the cancer is contained to the right breast, and we can deal with that.
I had a port implanted on Monday afternoon; my first chemo treatment is now officially scheduled for Friday, 7/11, at 11:30 a.m.
Chance's Aunt Susie shared the following verse with Paige and Chance last week and I memorized it and repeated it over and over during the week, especially on Tuesday when I received news that caused me to feel dismayed, and again on Thursday when I was fearful about the PET scan.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
God is holding me in His hand and there is no better place to be. Please pray for my strength as I begin chemo treatments; I will admit I am apprehensive about this. But I am anxious to see how He can use me to share my faith and hope in Him; please also pray for my boldness and opportunities to share.
Also please pray for Paige and Chance. This has been so difficult for Paige. But I must brag on her...after her initial shock and fear, she has settled in as my champion and #1 supporter, along with her Dad. She has been buying me books, flavored green tea, house shoes...pampering her mom and discovering the depth of her own faith. Paige's group of close friends has bonded together and begun praying together for me...I am so blessed and I know Paige's faith is being stretched in ways she could have never imagined.
Then, three weeks later, on June 24, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Wow. The following two weeks have been a whirlwind of doctor appointments or tests every day, being poked and prodded with needles and things that are "radioactive," for Pete's sake!
I have invasive lobular cancer in my right breast. It's a large tumor - 4 centimeters- that's how I found it. It is estrogen fed, which means that taking hormone replacement therapy the past two years may have caused it or at least sped up the growth of the tumor.
Keith and I have been completely positive and full of hope since the minute I was diagnosed. I told Keith that it's times like these when we determine if we really believe what we've always said we believe. Well, we do. Our faith has grown so much in these past days and we KNOW God is in control and we are trusting Him for a successful conclusion of this illness.
Tuesday, July 1, was a tough day. Further test results revealed that there is a second tumor near but separate from the first one. Also, I have one solitary lymph node that is positive with cancer. That's the one thing I had prayed so hard for - that it would not have spread to my lymph nodes. BUT I had a PET scan on Thursday and it showed that there is NO cancer anywhere else in my body!!!! So, the cancer is contained to the right breast, and we can deal with that.
I had a port implanted on Monday afternoon; my first chemo treatment is now officially scheduled for Friday, 7/11, at 11:30 a.m.
Chance's Aunt Susie shared the following verse with Paige and Chance last week and I memorized it and repeated it over and over during the week, especially on Tuesday when I received news that caused me to feel dismayed, and again on Thursday when I was fearful about the PET scan.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
God is holding me in His hand and there is no better place to be. Please pray for my strength as I begin chemo treatments; I will admit I am apprehensive about this. But I am anxious to see how He can use me to share my faith and hope in Him; please also pray for my boldness and opportunities to share.
Also please pray for Paige and Chance. This has been so difficult for Paige. But I must brag on her...after her initial shock and fear, she has settled in as my champion and #1 supporter, along with her Dad. She has been buying me books, flavored green tea, house shoes...pampering her mom and discovering the depth of her own faith. Paige's group of close friends has bonded together and begun praying together for me...I am so blessed and I know Paige's faith is being stretched in ways she could have never imagined.
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