This has been a week for catching up with long-lost friends and hearing from people from my past. They say good news travels fast, but I say bad news travels even faster. As the news of my breast cancer has spread through the grapevine, I have begun to receive messages of encouragement from so many wonderful friends, relatives, and even acquaintances with whom I had lost touch. I find it quite amazing that, in the family of God, you can go years without seeing a friend, and when you do meet up again, you are able to pick up right where you left off. Sharing a common faith and future binds us together forever.
This week I am feeling pretty good, although I continue to be so tired. By the time I get home from work and have dinner - I'm toast. I doze on and off until bedtime, then start the process over again the next day. I have one new side effect that I'm not too happy with -- mouth ulcers. I don't mean an irritating ulcer like you sometimes get, I mean one entire side of my mouth is covered and it hurts to talk, it hurts to eat, whine, whine. You know, the chemo destroys the bad cells (yay!) but also some of the good, and that's where this mouth issue comes in. Apparently this is a common side effect. My doctor gave me a prescription for a liquid I can swish in my mouth to help with the pain, but it's seriously called "Gross Cocktail" -- if that gives you any idea how it tastes!
I am beginning to see that with each chemo treatment I am slowing down more and more. I have been going along, living my life as usual, living like I'm not sick. But I am, and I am understanding the importance of slowing down and letting my body rest. So here is my new verse for this week. I didn't search the concordance for it; it just came to me as I was sitting here contemplating my need for rest: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Wow. The Lord just told me that I need to be still, slow down - and let HIM be in control of my life. Of my cancer. Of my side effects. OF MY HEALING.
I'm pretty certain I am not the only one racing through life today, trying to do it all, pretending there's not really anything wrong, needing to just BE STILL and allow God to be Lord of my life. So join me this week and let's be still in God's presence. I look forward now to a peace-filled Friday at chemo, knowing I am going to be spiritually prepared. I'll let you know how it goes.
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6 comments:
Don't forget Exodus 14:14, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Isn't that your verse on the calendar this week?
God will meet all of your needs, you must simply trust and wait.
I love you!
Valerie,
I know it would be extremely hard for me to "be still". We should all practice that more often - cancer or not. But - wow - what a hard thing to do until you HAVE to - NEED to slow down. Praying for your mouth ulcers to get better (GO AWAY!). Reminds me of all those recent sermons on Job at church or the plagues of Egypt. You're having the plague of the mouth! Another good reason to "be still". Love you and love your blogs and Paige's emails. God be with you every day and more and more.
Love - Lisa Lobb
Dearest Valerie,
Thank you for the update. It was good talking with Keith last night. I think about you everyday, my lifelong friend, and we pray for you each night. Your picture with Dillon is still on the fridge (the old one with Dillon) because he likes to see you holding him! I wish I could be there but am so glad your wonderful family is taking such good care of you. Love to you, Nan
I LOVE that verse, Valerie! One of my favorite little girls at church (7 years old) will proudly recite that verse to remind us all to slow down.
What a great God we have that we need only to rest in Him! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Valerie,
I am one of those strangers that your daughter told you might see your blog or at least I thought I was. I am not sure how I got to your blog exactly except to say that when I got to Paige's blog, I saw that her mother had started one and that interested me. I haven't run across too many written by our age group. They say that we are connected by six degrees and I know that to be true now. After reading that Paige had been to Irving to visit, I was intrigued. Not only did I grow up in Irving, I attended PPBC as a child. I asked my sister, who still goes to PPBC, if she knew you. She said that she had just found out that your parents are in her Sunday School class. (She is 12years older than me.....she will kill me for saying that outloud.) After talking to your mother, she found out that your mother-in-law attends FBC in Carrollton which is where I attend church. Dorothy was the leader of my group in SIS (Sisters in Sorrow...provides meals for grieving families in our church). WOW! What a small world! Six degrees?
I expectantly wait to see how the Lord works in your life as you walk through this valley and up to the top of the mountain.
You inspire me with your walk and your courage to post it on the web. Blogging has not become a part of my life, but I have a lot to say. I have a "voice" too. ( my Parent newsletter when I taught preschool was "Vicki's Voice") You have given me the courage to speak out. Maybe soon!
Vicki
ok, ok, not sure what the "goss cocktail" is made of, but we called ours mendelsohn's mouthwash..much more appetizing and it was basicalyl mylanta (cool mint) and benadryl. My doctor here told me to just buy the generic brand of both of them and mix equal parts and swish it around. The Benadryl numbs and the mylanta coats. It was amazing. That was the base for the medicine they gave me for my throat. Maybe it will help.
I totally understand the tired thing. I slept 10 1/2 hours last night and still woke up this morning tired. It's so fun. I do love Paige's verse!
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